Today’s post is a super old fashioned blog post. I’m sharing something deeply personal with you, and it’s right from my heart.
Blogging is generally a business with posts written to attract visitors and grow page views. Let’s be real for a minute. It’s expensive to pay for everything, and everybody’s gotta make a living somehow. And so, that is my goal with this blog as well. But I remember the days when we wrote and shared stuff for no other reason that because we wanted to. This post is like that.
Today’s post is written, because I’m a real person with feelings and experience loss and love like all of you. I know many of you have been with me for quite a while, and also know there have been ups and downs the past few years. One of the hardest things I’ve been through in the past ten years was losing my precious Golden Retriever. To be honest about it, I’m still quite sad about it. I miss him every day, and I think that will be true for the rest of my life.
When I say this dog was an angel in fur, I’m not exaggerating. Those eyes still say so much to me even though now I can only see them reflected back to me from a digital image file. I will be so happy the day I get to see this baby again, and I am sure with all of my heart that it will happen.
This photo session was taken our first year in this house. It was a terrible experience getting here, and the move took a lot out of all of us. Still, we were glad to move back to town even though it meant walking away from a spectacular home in the mountains. That first spring we were here, the back yard shared a beautiful secret in the form of yellow blooms. In an otherwise desolate and neglected garden, beautiful sprays of yellow sprouted that first spring as if to greet us, and to say, “Welcome! We are glad you are here.”
Willie loved those daffodils, and would lay in them every spring.
They have never come back quite the same since he’s been gone. I think they miss him as much as we do.
This is the second spring without my best fur friend. It’s been a difficult and miserable fall and winter with way too much rain and far too many cloudy, grey days. So imagine my great surprise when we had a break in the dreariness, and I took a walk around the yard to see how every thing looked. In a small corner just off the room that used to be my bedroom I found this.
You may not see anything special in a little spray of daffodils, but let me finish the story. First of all, it’s still way too early for them. It’s only the middle of February. Generally we don’t get them until March. I do have other flowers starting to peek through the ruins of last year’s leaves and mulch, but nothing is blooming. And even the daffodils in the back yard that greeted us that first spring are only just starting to peek through.
Not only that, these flowers have never grown here before. Like, not ever. This is my 5th spring in the house and those flowers were never there before. I planted the Liriope myself, but the daffodils are new.
And aren’t they beautiful? I love yellow flowers. They are so hopeful and joyful and such a wonderful welcome sent to us every year from Mother Nature.
I think these flowers were sent to me by my dear, sweet dog. It think he is letting me know he’s doing well and that he is never really far from my side. I have no other explanation for them popping up like this. If there is a scientific reason, I don’t really care. I want to believe it’s a message from Willie. Sometimes you need to believe in those small miracles.
It’s his way of saying, “It’s ok Mamma. I’m still here in the daffodils just like I always was. And someday, you’ll be here with me on this side and we can enjoy them together again.”
And that really helps me to feel better. I feel less alone.
If you are missing a loved one this spring, look for a sign from them. Something a little unexpected in a familiar place.
My hope is you also receive a precious blessing like this. Life is about loss, and it’s hard to get through. But getting a message of hope and of love after a cold, dark winter is something that has really helped me in a time when I needed it.
Run free at the Rainbow Bridge sweet boy, and save me a spot in the daffodils.